A week has passed since my confession and day by day the world around me is losing more color.
I stopped stalking Misaki and find myself sitting around in my room staring at the wall for hours instead of going through my usual routine of studying. Sleeping, eating, learning, stalking. Just somehow managing to stay alive. That's all there was to my life.
Whenever I pass Misaki in the hallway now he seems perfectly fine, not affected at all. Instead, lately he seems to reject the girls flattering around him more properly. He doesn't even want them to follow him to the classroom. I can see that without looking at him.
Also, the way he walks has changed. He doesn't walk considerably, caring if the person next to him can't hold his tempo, or turns to them while talking like he used to. Now he's always looking straightforward, hurrying through the floor.
And I... I am getting bad marks. I barely come to study or sleep at all and when I do I can't concentrate.
As I thought, I'm just no good without him.
From time to time, I would catch Aki, the blackhaired girl that brought me to confess to Misaki with her rude words, staring at me, a little worried and a little annoyed. Not like I care about her though.
It's partially her fault that I'm like this now. She's the one that should get rejected already.
I'm so rotten.
"Someone's being all illminded again.."
Aki.
"Someone's getting on my nerve again", I bark angrily, seriously tired from staring at the wall too much.
"Sometimes I seriously consider you being an old woman having her midlife crisis."
It's always like this. I try to get rid of her and she just keeps coming back like a boomerang and forcing my proud self to argue with her with her rude way of making my nerves snap.
Then we're at it. The truth is, I'm glad I have Aki. Not like I could tell her that anyway, thinking about her laughing at me for my cheesy words. But I'm sure she's just playing the bully to make me angry on purpose, so I can release my feelings.
That exactly is the reason why I can't show my true feelings to her- If you care too much about unnecessary things it wears you out. It makes you drop your guard, lower your grades and get dumbfounded. For the same reason I could never talk to anyone about my feelings for Misaki, but it's not like there was someone I could talk with either.
After the last bell rang I'm too tired to keep my eyes open for long. Besides being afraid to stumble I don't seem to be able to walk home with my eyes closed. Also there's the light feeling of a shadow behind me, following me all the time.
Honestly spoken I'm far too scared to turn around. In this area there aren't many people around, so who would possibly consider stalking me all the way to my house? A neighbour. But what would he do at my school?
I stop after a few minutes because there's a pair of new shoes in my way. It couldn't be he or she was so fast to catch me, right? It couldn't be they were more than one person?
"Looks quite troublesome. You should better get lost, scum." I shriek at the sound of the familiar voice. Too familiar for its own good, hardly bearable now at all times.
"Watch your tongue, my prince. Aren't you the one because of whom it's necessary to do this?"
"You're talking like I forced you."
After getting used to Misakis deep blue eyes again the next surprise is already waiting. Aki, beautiful as ever and not at all affected by the heat and the high mountain this village is build on. Moreover, these two are arguing without caring about me standing there all confused.
I feel like running away.
Why? Why is everything getting out of my hand now? Why am I not capable of getting a hold of the situation at all?
"C'mon. Look at her eyes, little prince. She's scared as hell." Aki again. Calling Misaki 'little prince'. Under normal circumstances I would have scolded her for that, but my tongue seems to have turned black.
"Who wouldn't be after spending the whole week with someone like you?"
"My, my. The little one is quite getting ahead of himself. No need to brag. If it wouldn't be for her I would just punch you right now."
"If it wouldn't be for her I wouldn't concern myself with scum like you."
Stop it. You're not supposed to talk like that, Misaki.
"I'm impressed. You're stubborn enough to keep it up with your ugly words. I wonder how long I am able to control myself from fcking forcing you to shut up eternally?"
Stop. Just get lost, Aki. Get both lost. Just let me sulk all day. Drown myself in tears.
Get lost.
"You know best that if you come any farther than this you're going to hurt her the most."
Get lost? That's...not it... Please don't ignore me. I beg you, don't...forget about me.
I don't know how long I stood there, in the middle of those two talking about things I have no clue about. But at the same time I can feel those warm tears streaming down, there are also two hands grabbing my shoulders, one very rough and one just very gently.
"Let's go home, princess", Aki mumbles in a soft tone and glares at Misaki for a last time. Alarmingly I can only see him smile as a response, but it's shightly fading when he turn around.
Without me giving my approval Aki opens the door to our house with my key and then just suddenly lifts me on her arms and carries me into my room. Gives me a glass of water that I'm drinking with one breath and lays me down on my bed. She must be really strong, I think.
And at the same time, so pretty.
"You're so kind, Aki", I laugh, barely awake by now.
"Just returning the favor", she grins. What white teeth. Black hair, pale face, bloodred lips, just like snowwhite.
"You're so beautiful, Aki"
This time my response is a sigh. "Isn't it time for you to sleep?" Snowwhite covers me in a white blanket. Looks down on me with a lovely smile that's just a little mischievous.
"Well then. Good night, my fair lady."
"Sometimes I seriously consider you being an old woman having her midlife crisis."
It's always like this. I try to get rid of her and she just keeps coming back like a boomerang and forcing my proud self to argue with her with her rude way of making my nerves snap.
Then we're at it. The truth is, I'm glad I have Aki. Not like I could tell her that anyway, thinking about her laughing at me for my cheesy words. But I'm sure she's just playing the bully to make me angry on purpose, so I can release my feelings.
That exactly is the reason why I can't show my true feelings to her- If you care too much about unnecessary things it wears you out. It makes you drop your guard, lower your grades and get dumbfounded. For the same reason I could never talk to anyone about my feelings for Misaki, but it's not like there was someone I could talk with either.
After the last bell rang I'm too tired to keep my eyes open for long. Besides being afraid to stumble I don't seem to be able to walk home with my eyes closed. Also there's the light feeling of a shadow behind me, following me all the time.
Honestly spoken I'm far too scared to turn around. In this area there aren't many people around, so who would possibly consider stalking me all the way to my house? A neighbour. But what would he do at my school?
I stop after a few minutes because there's a pair of new shoes in my way. It couldn't be he or she was so fast to catch me, right? It couldn't be they were more than one person?
"Looks quite troublesome. You should better get lost, scum." I shriek at the sound of the familiar voice. Too familiar for its own good, hardly bearable now at all times.
"Watch your tongue, my prince. Aren't you the one because of whom it's necessary to do this?"
"You're talking like I forced you."
After getting used to Misakis deep blue eyes again the next surprise is already waiting. Aki, beautiful as ever and not at all affected by the heat and the high mountain this village is build on. Moreover, these two are arguing without caring about me standing there all confused.
I feel like running away.
Why? Why is everything getting out of my hand now? Why am I not capable of getting a hold of the situation at all?
"C'mon. Look at her eyes, little prince. She's scared as hell." Aki again. Calling Misaki 'little prince'. Under normal circumstances I would have scolded her for that, but my tongue seems to have turned black.
"Who wouldn't be after spending the whole week with someone like you?"
"My, my. The little one is quite getting ahead of himself. No need to brag. If it wouldn't be for her I would just punch you right now."
"If it wouldn't be for her I wouldn't concern myself with scum like you."
Stop it. You're not supposed to talk like that, Misaki.
"I'm impressed. You're stubborn enough to keep it up with your ugly words. I wonder how long I am able to control myself from fcking forcing you to shut up eternally?"
Stop. Just get lost, Aki. Get both lost. Just let me sulk all day. Drown myself in tears.
Get lost.
"You know best that if you come any farther than this you're going to hurt her the most."
Get lost? That's...not it... Please don't ignore me. I beg you, don't...forget about me.
I don't know how long I stood there, in the middle of those two talking about things I have no clue about. But at the same time I can feel those warm tears streaming down, there are also two hands grabbing my shoulders, one very rough and one just very gently.
"Let's go home, princess", Aki mumbles in a soft tone and glares at Misaki for a last time. Alarmingly I can only see him smile as a response, but it's shightly fading when he turn around.
Without me giving my approval Aki opens the door to our house with my key and then just suddenly lifts me on her arms and carries me into my room. Gives me a glass of water that I'm drinking with one breath and lays me down on my bed. She must be really strong, I think.
And at the same time, so pretty.
"You're so kind, Aki", I laugh, barely awake by now.
"Just returning the favor", she grins. What white teeth. Black hair, pale face, bloodred lips, just like snowwhite.
"You're so beautiful, Aki"
This time my response is a sigh. "Isn't it time for you to sleep?" Snowwhite covers me in a white blanket. Looks down on me with a lovely smile that's just a little mischievous.
"Well then. Good night, my fair lady."
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