In My Heart.

"If life doesn't kill you, emptiness will."

Why don't you understand how much certain words can hurt? We all want someone to notice, and at the same time, I just wish for them to forget as soon as they do.
"So you're practically like my little sister, Mari?~~"
"I'll let it slide, since you're younger."
"Well, can't take anything from you serious."
"Ha----haha. So... just close the door alright? He's not gonna come in that way, right?"
"I'm scared. I'm seriously scared to death."
"Haha---"
Many people think being like this is a choice. Some kind of current state. I want to be depressed, so I am. Something sad happened, so I'm depressed.
But it's not like that at all. It's a frequent diesease. Once it's come, it's so hard to let go of it again- and eventually you'll infect others with the same madness.
Who would be? In a state like that, who would be foolish enough to stripe down his worries and give them to someone else? To burn and impregnate a part of himself into a skin that wasn't their own? I really didn't want to. Just, that when I tried to prove my point, there were vessels all over your ribcage.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I love you, I really do.
I didn't want to make a home out of you when I knew all along that I didn't own you. You're not mine.
It just happened. When I looked back, you were always there, not only ever smiling but also sad. Sad? Maybe sadistic.
You ruined my life.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
For making a home out of you, when I knew that you never wanted me the way I want you. That I was just a way of getting what you desired.
I'm sorry for not being able to be the girl you wanted to possess.