Hope you enjoy reading!
Chapter One
Leia squirmed in her blanket. For hours she tormented herself to sleep, tossed and turned from side to side and swept by a fever dream after another.
Her health allowed her not to even think of something else. In a way she thought of herself as punished, but when Leia opened her eyes, she felt as if she had defied an order-thus she had most likely deserved this disease.
Since she was little, Leia knew that she had the rare illness osteogenesis imperfecta, also known as the brittle bone disease, in which a single fall could already be fatal. Therefore her family had decided that it would be safer for them to evacuate her in this house.
In her life she had been brought more bread with butter spread by a nice nurse, as her mother had cooked for her. She was someone who magically attracted colds and worse. Once Leia had to repeat an entire school year, which was why she was now still stuck in fifth grade instead of attending a sixth class as well as the others. But it did not make much difference, because their parents had decided in her third school year that a private school would be easier to handle for them. From then on, Monday to Friday Dr Kitson came to visit and teach her.
Leia was a hardworking and an academically good student - because she couldn't pass the time any other way when she was locked up all the time anyway- , so Dr Kitson was always very proud of her and usually taught her more advanced stuff. Therefore, Leia was not sorry that she had to repeat again, because the things she learned, the others wouldn't learn until the following year.
Yet she had felt as a separate from residual waste.
In moments where her sadness were concerned a low point, she had locked herself in her room, knowing that nobody would see her anyway and had talked with Bluebells. Bells accompanied Leia since she was born and she knew exactly that he wouldn't turn away from her, no matter what she did. The feeling of being loved by Bells gave her the strength to continue fighting against death every day.
But secretly Leia knew that she would never survive that long. Maybe it was their high hopes, their dreams or simply their ignorance, that she had those hopes, but None of this gave her a sense of falseness. Even if her nanny and her parents told her that dreams were foams, there was still little Bells, with whom she was more familiar and whose voice in her head always encouraged her to go on and not stand still.
Leia finally freed herself, slipped drowsily in her summer sandals, which she had parked next to the bed and dragged herself to the balcony door. In the sky was a perfect and round moon, which seemed to her like he lightened the way as the beam of a flashlight. The path to normalcy, the way to courage to live. More courage than she already had.
Leia folded her arms on the metal balcony railing and breathed in the cold air. It cleaned her lungs of nightmares and insomnia, found Leia.
When she was outside at night, she was closest to heaven. It was as if she could reach out for the stars and feel good, despite the knowledge that she couldn't take a single one of them.
Leia knew a hundred percent that there was HER name on one of them, just waiting to fall down sometime. As her mother had said.
"Leia, death is a star that falls down when it comes to an end. That's why there are so many stars. For each existing human one. Never forget that you are never alone. We all live under the same sky. always the same, no matter how much the world changes around us, it remains the same."
Bells helped her her to make her identify her star by appearing ont he balcony every night, constantly haunting for it. If they forgot it once they tortured themselves, by vorlogging tomorrow's dinner.
Of course, her nanny knew then that something was not right, but it never asked for something, but laid down a bowl filled with fruits in front of her bedroom door.
Leia did not quite know why it were fruits. When she was small, the nanny had always peeled her one or more apples and told her to chew on it fifty times before taking the next half. So she couldn't speak at all what seemed to be the meaning behind the apple trap. The apples were sweet-sour and tasted good, so she remained silent.
She knew perfectly well that she was loved. Even though her parents often went on trips and the nanny refused to play games with Leia, her life was a little spot in the world that could not be simply wiped out because he was too insignificant and small.
"Bells, we will celebrate my next birthday together," she swore the moon, which was silent stubborn and adamant as a witness, as befitted the court. Leia was glad that the moon had so much for understanding.
Her voice trailed off as the last minor tone of a song in the wind and for a moment she feared she could have possibly aroused the nanny, but the city did not move and remained completely untouched. Only the neon signs flashed in the distance from pink to blue and back again, as they did every night until four in the morning clock. Those were things Leia knew for sure.
Some time ago she had started to write down out of boredom all the things, which happened quite sure every day in the city. Every Friday came the scrap dealer. Every Monday the ice cream truck. Every morning at seven o'clock, students who didn't not like Leia went to a private school. Every evening at eight o'clock the smaller supermarkets closed their doors, waiting for a new day. Such things.
Things as weak as her body. But of worth, she hoped.
As long as there was a person who enjoyed the presence of Leia and if it was just Bells, then she was happy.
"Leia-darling, please go to sleep.You'll catch a cold," The nanny, who already stood at her door which she had forgotten to lock, surprised her.
"I can not sleep," Leia said, but went off the balcony and closed it's door on silent feet. She switched on the small lamp on her desk and looked at the old woman's face. It looked like a rotten eggplant, as dehydrators and sinewy. But it was a nice face, Leia had accustomed herself to.
"If you have too little sleep, then your Guardian Angel will not like it, Leia-darling", said the nurse, came over to Leia to lift her on her bed. Although she was already eleven years old, and of course could go alone, she was always treated like a four year old that had left his too-small playpen. Her parents were not very often at home, but her nanny had the strict arrangement to guard Leia like an expenisve treasure
Her mother had always called Leia a sapphire, because of her sparkling blue eyes, which even had a lilac shimmer, but even if she would be worth as much as a sapphire, then all the effort was still in vain. Too often things happened without her permission or her commitment. It had become routine, so Leia did not find that her life would have a noticeable difference without her guardian angel.
"My Guardian Angel helped me enough already. He should rest quietly," Leia reassured her nanny and covered herself up again, with the knowledge that it would do nothing. The children knew the girl too, so it was a compromise on a exhilarating. "We can bake cookies tomorrow for your parents. I've located a cake mix in the cupboards. Your mother will be happy when she comes back from New York"
Leia agreed, and covered her ears with bedding to hear nothing more than needed.
Once the nanny had left her room, Leia jumped out of bed, closed the door and then crawled back into the warmth. This time she had Bells within her arms, whom the nanny dismissed as just a useless stuffed animal.
She slept well that night with Bells and held him close to her heart, so that he found her heartbeat calming.
"Hey, Bells. Tomorrow I bake cookies."
Bells responded with silence which even Leia had to chuckle about softly. But she quickly admonished to stop before someone would see her again. This whole thing in which she lived, was like a high-security prison where every smile was a misdemeanor. Leia had been accustomed in her eleven years that she had to be quiet even if her parents were home, because they then had to concentrate on their work, but it had never been that much fun.
She rubbed her nose against Bell's eye-buttons and kissed him on the forehead. He had earned this name because he was wearing a huge pink bow long ago which was filled with a rattle-rustling like a thousand bells with every movement.
The important thing was that Bell had become her family.
With a broad smile on his face, that was more than dangerous in this house, Leia fell into a troubled sleep, in which rain, blood and tears of her own distorted her vision.
***
He watched her in her sleep.
Sometimes she shrugged uneasily or tensed muscles of the face, only to let them derail. He admired her for her great will to live, even though he would never admit that. If she would not be so incredibly strong, he would have had to take her away years ago. Maybe even before she had attended primary school. Even if he was just five years older than her, he already felt a strong bond with her that he had not yet had to any of his past protégés. He had heard of angels, whose protege was a seer-Someone who could see his guardian angel- and their deep bond with them. But so far, it had not made the impression that Leia was something special.
Leia was beautiful like the night that he loved so much, (which he also would not admit) because it connected him with his life. He had known and yet she had shocked him when he had been assigned to her at that time. He had still not accustomed to Leia's beauty, but he often told himself that it was nothing special, like that he could control his heartbeat. Not that he cherished any romantic feelings, but as a former artist, he had a weakness for beautiful things. He was glad that he was alive as a guardian angel, that he was given a second chance to build a wall around him. He was now the arrogant guy who read every wish from the girl's lips, but never was open for one. Too bad that this was all wasted on the sky.
Again Leia sighed in pain during her nightmares and rolled around.
He would like to get rid of her pain, but then she would see him in his true form. He was prohibited any contact, so he did not dare to even fantasize about it. About...what happened after this second life of his had ended.
As he sat down on a tree outside her window to bash the guard for the night, he felt a tug in his chest. The sign that someone was thinking of him. The thought that perhaps Leia's dream was about him made him sad.
His loyalty to Leia was already so firmly that he did not know if he could maintain his facade until her death. But as with everything, he kept all these things inside of him and instead had the shell of his self say all those things he never wanted to say.
It was easier to live like that.
***
Leia woke up this morning with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Leia had never had any stomach problems, so it felt weird to feel this rumbling inside. It felt as if she had eaten nothing for days but at the same time like her lungs would burst when she breathed out for even once.
Bell was still there: pressed closely to her breast he lay on the pillow and said nothing as usual.
Bold Leia sat up, rose from her bed and closed the bedroom door. She immediately met a fine chocolate smell. Contradict her expectations, Leia's nanny hadn't prepared a bowl with fruits today, about what Leia was strangely glad, because the fullness seemed to last for long.
When she had fought herself down the stairs, slowly so as not to stumble, her nanny waited at the kitchen. The woman wore a blue apron and a headscarf and kneaded a chocolate dough with her hands, which she then rolled out with a roller.
Leia could not remember that the woman wanted to make the cookies alone. Disappointed, she leaned against the kitchen wall.
"I can not remember when the last time you slept so long was, Leia-darling," were her first words. The nanny didn't bother to turn around to her. Leia had not seen on the clock, but she guessed that it was now far too late for a lunch. Apparently her nanny didn't care if she was hungry or not, or even disappointed that there were already cookies in the oven which were not touched by her with a single finger.
Instead of answering, Leia decided to take a star ramekins from a drawer and stabbed it into the rolled dough that smelled wonderful like a morning in the bakery. One after the other followed by other stars. There were two, three, four, five, when she was interrupted.
"Wouldn't you prefer hearts, Leia-darling?" ,asked the nanny friendly and grabbed her hand, whereupon Leia dropped the ramekins without freeing the punched-out dough from it. When the woman let go of her, her arm ached as if he had been poisoned by the touch.
"I would rather make stars. My mom loves them, right?" Leia said, and sat down at the dining table.
When she turned back to the stove, she saw a scurring black shadow at the door. It had been only a moment, and she would also be able to imagine, but the outline just looked too human. Leia had clearly seen two hands and the curvature of too large clothes.
"Is there anybody else here" she asked, surprised and curious, without waiting for an answer. Although there was so much she could be afraid of, Leia was not a timid girl. Neither the darkness, nor things like monsters, death, pain, or blood frightened her. The only thing that Leia never forgave, and she could never endorse, were lies. Of which she had just heard to many already which had spun a vast network around her by now. She did not bother to solve any knitting and get free sometime. The lies were faster than her and they would catch up within seconds and make her incapable of resistance.
"Of course not. Your parents are on a business trip, Leia-darling. They'll come home next week, please be patient until then."
"But I have seen someone," Leia insisted instead, watching the nanny, as it put one star after the other on a large grid, lined with baking paper sheet, then pushed it into the preheated oven.
"You have a vivid imagination, my child, just like Dr Kitson said."
Dr Kitson said many things, above all the lies that Leia hated. He claimed, for example, that Leia and her nanny were so close and familiar and also looked the same as mother and daughter. Leia could not believe it, even if she had the same black silky hair as the old woman. But the woman's hair was all curly and her eyes were grayish rather than lilac.
Similarly, the doctor claimed that Leia could someday study at a university in New York City. All who lived in the gray house, or were close to the residents knew that she would never live that long. This was even beyond the power of a great magical miracle.
However, Dr Kitson's LARGEST lie took place a long time ago. Two years ago, when she had seen him the first time standing in her room. In his meticulous, white jacket, the wire-rimmed glasses which were much too large for his thin face and bald head which made him a TV doctor. His first words to her were nothing but lies, covered with a smile. "Good day, Leia. My name is Dr John Kitson and I look forward to working with you!"
She had not answered, but had pulled down the sheet over her head and hid for two hours.
"You're probably right," Leia answered the nanny.
The woman seemed to no longer care about her and was quite engrossed in her work, which tempted Leia to disappear in her thoughts.
Maybe she really had too much imagination. But that was nothing bad. Bells had told her in person that she never had to give in, because otherwise she showed weakness and would thus make the whole situation just sad. They should fight to the end. Then she could honestly say that she had managed something omn her own without being treated like a kid again.
When Leia looked up there was the same shadow that was passing by at the stove in the kitchen door and put his hands on his hips, as if he was upset that the nanny had not taken notice of him.
This time, Leia told the old woman nothing more of her discovery, since it would be dismissed as fantasy again anyway, but divulged that she would put herself back in bed, due to a sudden tiredness. Without big words, the nanny let her go, not without asking first if she wanted to eat an apple or an orange. Leia had politely declined, tentatively reached into the shadow and got a surprisingly good hold of his shoulder although he was almost a head taller than her.
Now, a gray grin seemed to appear on his face. Leia did not know what to say to this gesture. The shadow said, "Well said, but it still wasn't the truth, right? How can someone ever have imagination if he is guarded 24 hours a day and must never get out?"
Leia quickly looked around to see if the nanny had heard something, but the old woman was still in the same spot and turned her back to her.
Slowly, carefully, Leia pulled the shade up to the stairs without having to fight.
When she dropped herself on her bed, her heel and knuckles hurt. He had pressed her hand firmly taken that he apparently should only consist of air and sun reflection.
As Leia took the opportunity to breathe again, she did not know where to start. She found it strange to ask a shadow what he was doing in her house. She thought it was strange for her in general to converse with a shadow. Leia would have to discuss this matter with little Bells at night.
Fortunately, the shadow was going to start and he crossed his arms, apparently angry, and turned to Leia.
"Hey ... wait a minute, this is my house, don't make yourself at home as you please!" she scolded him immediately and noticed that she spoke to him as if they were old aquaintances. The idea seemed almost to drive a blush in her cheeks.
"Sorry, but I don't think it's right that they have not told me you could see me. Undetected seer...unforgivable, you know? After the job here I will have to kill the person responsible for this dilemma.."
"Say what?" Leia had heard some insults and the like, but never a threat of violence, moreover, about something she couldn't understand any better than the nightsky.
Finally, the shadow turned back to her again and Leia was shocked when he suddenly seemed to flicker strangely. "I'm sorry if I have destroyed your perfect picture book world now." Suddenly there was a man with skin and hair sanding in front of her instead of the shadow, which did not result that Leia was relieved. For she had never spoken with a boy for more thna five minutes, let alone had one in her house.
The boy poked her nose with the index finger and she was again aware of how much older he had to be. "What a dilemma? I mean, I can perhaps help you if you tell me what ..." Leia began, but cut herself off as she recognized his negative attitude. The boy looked like a normal teenager. He was wearing a hoodie and a slightly crushed knee-length pants. His cheeky grin was surrounded by reddish-brown hair that stood in all directions.
Rather than finishing her sentence, Leia gave him her best smile, in the hope that her confusion would not be that obvious.
Suddenly the stranger came quite close, so that his face was less than a foot away from her and barked, "I do not like it when people are toying with me."
Frightened Leia crawled a little further into the middle of her bed, but the stranger only laughed softly and began to become a shadow again. "Twelve years I watched you. Day in and day out. And I DIDN'T have someone who would present me a bowl of fruits, just so you know. This is gonna be a hell of alot work, you know. But if you ask so, I shall tell you.. As if I could not grant any of my proteges wishes." The boy began to complain and thenlooked at her in surprise.
Leia had stretched over the whole ceiling and reached for his arm.
Her back began to ache and she sank back quickly to massage her aching bones. "Are you crazy? There are other ways to say 'Please stay here, Darius,'" the boy who apparently was named Darius bleated. Leia liked the same, though she wasn't normally conceited about those things.
"You should stay human," she replied only, leaning against her pillow.
Darius sighed and remained in his present form. Then he told her with a sad undertone that this form was not that of a man and would never be what Leia brought back to port.
She thought that maybe Bells knew something and lifted him into her arms. Darius suspiciously eyed the rabbit, only to continue with his scheduled explanation. "The so-called fiasco is, if you want to know it exactly, your fault. Actually, you would not even be able to see my shadow... I've heard of several cases where the same has happened, but my wards were previously not actually seer ... "
"Seer?" asked Leia, more curious than shocked. To a certain extent she was even excited that the first boy with whom she spoke for so long, was so interesting. Although she still did not know what he was doing in her house.
"Protégés who can see their angels. People like you. In my life I was called Darius, so in my guardian angel existence I settled with that name too."
"What about the people can't see their...Guardian Angels, if I have undertood everything correctly?"
"Poor pigs," Darius replied, shrugging his shoulders apologetically.
Leia's nanny would probably have been worried if she would deal with such a person. But she was too vulnerable to the idea of getting to know her personal guardian angel! Nevertheless, she still had so many questions, such as why she could only see Darius now and...why he was not afraid ton reveal himself. In addition to her initial abdominal pain Leia now could feel her head starting to ache the more she thought about Darius.
"Wait a bit .. but you have no wings and stuff ..."
Darius muttered unenthusiastically and grumbled, "I hate those goody two shoes know-it-alls like you. Angels have wings, yeah. Angels in TRAINING don't. I'm incredibly sorry that you have to deal with a bloody beginner such as me, but you're not exactly the most wanted target at our Lottery booth too, you know?"
"Can you do any tricks?" The question seemed to make Darius' nerves snap. He made it abundantly clear that he was not a circus pony, and then admitted that he had one or the other ability, but was not as pronounced, since he was still in training.
Then he closed his eyes as if he had a secret that he would not show anybody, and the next moment Leia felt like something was moving in her arms.
It was Bells who was shaking out his legs, coughed and marched down on her bed.
Leia held back a laughter and asked instead, "You can make stuffed animals alive?"
Darius puffed up and took Bells on his hand before he fell from Leia's bed frame. He stroked his head, inwardly shocked at Leia's reaction, even though he had just brought her most loyal friend to live, whereupon Bells welcomed him with the words, "You bring nothing but misfortune!" Darius ignored him and told the girl that was sitting now on its knees, as if she were to listen to a story, the issue with Bells.
"Not only does my ability make stuffed animals come to live. I can breathe life into nearly everything, may it be an object, a dead animal or even a dead human being, though the last two options only last for a short period of time. This is my gift. And before you ask... Not all angels have gifts. Most of us just change in matters of beauty, intelligence and ability."
Now Leia was like an open book, the confusion was right there for him to see.. Darius saw her staring eyes, behind which a whole workshop wanted to order the new information she had gotten.
"Unbelievable that you believe me so easily. I could be a pedophile, you know?" Darius shook his head at her credulity.
"What a pedophile shadow?" Leia asked indignantly, and brought him to grin, "I like it when you laugh and I was always religious. May I trust you?"
He nodded and decided that he had taught her enough for one day, as they had plenty of time in the future. He had a job to do, which would be done much faster through her gift of prophecy as he had thought.
"The most important thing: You can't tell no one about my existence Otherwise I shall be wiped out, if you know what I mean, Promise me this, Leia," he told her in a firm voice and was about to clap his hands to in front of her face to pull her back into consciousness, as she answered.
"I promise," she said, dazed, stunned by the sound of her name out of his mouth. It did not sound foreign, old and ugly, but rather mystical and special. The name seemed to go quickly and smooth from his tongue. She hated the way the nanny pronounced it.
"Wait a second, you have to go?" Leia asked, as he was preparing to go out and shifted Bells from his hands to her lap.
"Not that. But I guess you will not be thrilled if I'm next to you in bed when you wake up tomorrow. I'm only going...outside. Angels do not need sleep," he acknowledged with a last wink.
Darius put a hand on her raven hair and stroked through it softly before he again turned into a shadow and merged in a strange way with her bedroom wall.
Leia thought of his departure as somewhat corrupt, but had no further worries about it and shared her confusion with Bells. Although he had watched, she told him what had just happened all over again to also satisfy and prove herself right.
All that time she could read that one question in Bells eyes that also tormented her for a while now: Why do I only see you now, when my health continues to deteriorate?
As Bells life had apparently not been withdrawn, she made a joke of it to finally get answers from him. Now they could make up for all eleven years, even if it employed Leia that she was not quite attentive but instead was still deep in thoughts. Because something had drawn her attention..
When Darius had left, Leia had heard a delicate bell melody ringing in her ear.
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